Today, I was watching a tv program about the Salem witch trials, in the the description I thought they used the word "hystorical", and I thought 'GOOD ONE, television, a spelling joke! Spelling it 'hystorical' makes it all old-timey-feeling!" and then I realized it said 'hysterical'. 

awkward conversations with co-workers

Sometimes co-workers will stop by your cubicle to chat, or comment on what you're eating.
Them, cheerily: "Breakfast time! What is that?"
Me: "Fumaffo" (What 'falefel' sound like when spoken through a falefel)
Them: "At nine am?"
Me: "...Breakfast falafel." (or "buffust fumaffo" )
A silent look ensued, and that conversation was over.  

Periodically, I'll attempt to drink things sideways. Like when I'm laying down. It never works, yet every few years I think 'I'll try this again!" and just end up spilling on the couch. 

Today I got lost on my way to the pharmacy, in my home town, which I have been to, like, 15 times before.